The big secret behind Breakin’ Out: Sharon’s story

We’ve been making some noise about the festival for a few months now – but we did keep one thing up our sleeve.

Here’s the big secret.

The inspirational woman who has made all of this happen is doing it to help people who are suffering with drink and drug problems, eating disorders, bullying and self-harm.

Sharon Lewis, who came up with the whole Breakin’ Out idea is an ex-addict and she’s been kind enough to share her story with us below – massive respect to her for being such a legend.

On the day of the festival, we’ll be launching the beenthereb4.co.uk website which will give online support to anyone who wants it.

Alcohol won’t be sold or brought into the festival and it’s going to be a safe place to have a laugh, listen to top tunes and play some sports.

We were a bit afraid some people might be put off by that but after a few chats with people who want to go it seems like they care about what we’re doing. Plus, we’ve got Tinchy Stryder is headlining – what’s not to like?!

Nobody is going to be preachy, we just want people to know that if they ever have a problem, there will be somebody there who has been through it before who can help.

The Passion behind Breakin’ Out – Sharon’s Story

“Every morning I wake up sober & free from all substances is a miracle.

I was described as a child as someone who was uncomfortable in her own skin.

I found school really difficult and I’m sure being dyslexic did have a small part in that.

I was, however, very lucky to have a natural flare for drama and always had leading roles. This was where I found a natural elation, especially when making people laugh… for those moments I felt I belonged. Due to my success in the school shows, it actually caused other pupils to dislike me and so the bullying began.

To avoid all this I used to pretend I was ill to stay off school. I then tried another tactic to get ‘them’ to like me which actually seemed to work and that was to officially become the class clown – pushing the boundaries, use ‘no’ as a tool for rebellion and, most importantly, I started to become accepted in the cool gang.

This is the beginning of self-destruct.

Started smoking around the age of 14 and then at 16, I found the cure to all my problems – alcohol! Massive raves started to become appealing and after sampling LSD, speed and weed,the next step was ecstasy.

I can honestly say that, for once, I felt amazing about myself. Little did I know what would happen next.

I would just like to say at this point I am not glamourising any of this. In fact, the shame I feel is still with me.

The downward spiral was well and truly on its way, I became addicted to cocaine, smoking crack and ended up in rehab.
I was then diagnosed with depression. The drink was starting to become vital part of my daily routine – a bottle of cider and two bottles of wine a night.

I was telling people it was just one bottle and the lies and selfish behaviour were well under way. My colleague said ‘it’s just a matter of time before you pick up a drink in the mornings’.

From that day onwards my drinking became a 24 hour job for me. This consisted of trying
to:

• explain to the shop assistant why I was buying a litre of vodka at 8am in the morning;
• start drinking;
• hide it from everyone;
• run out and back to the off-license;
• avoid getting caught;
• hide anger at being found out.
• I was scared they’d take the drink away from me, crying, lying, desperate, scared, alone,
  manipulating, deceitful, selfish.

It was OK for me, I was anaesthetised, but all my family and friends were frightened, angry and hurt and were running around trying to find a way to stop this nightmare. Lots of rehabs, police turning up, paramedics, discharging myself from hospital, suicide attempts, psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors, medication, unemployed, described by my GP as a chronic alcoholic and there is nothing more he could do.

March 18th 2009 was the first day of the rest of my life!

The realisation of how I had the victim mentality, everyone else was to blame, extremely selfish, self-seeking & self-centred. The moment of clarity was immense and to finally realise actually it was me to blame – this was such a relief and it is very empowering to finally say sorry to all those people I hurt.

Why should anyone get to this point? I passionately believe that through this festival, “Breakin’ Out”, lives can be impacted. If someone had reached out to me at any of those trigger points – struggling in school, the bullying, starting smoking, etc. I genuinely believe my life would not have gone to the extreme it did, with all the governments money wasted on me and the pain and hurt I caused.

After ‘taking’ for so many years I want to ‘give back’ now more than ever. I want to make a difference.

If one young person has the courage to say no at that ‘sliding doors’ moment, because of something they had experienced either at the festival or during the aftercare, then that is worth more than anything. I want to reach out to the lost and show that there is a way out. This is the dream… I just need the support to make it a reality.

The aftercare is already evolving quite naturally on its own. Wristbands will be given to everyone on the day and all will have our web address (beenthereB4.co.uk) on it and all the young people I have asked love the rubber bangles as a fashion accessory too.

The aftercare website will have an online ‘call centre’ where visitors can chat safely and in confidence, with people who have themselves been there before. We have support from lots of organisations and individuals who are volunteering to man this service.

Our website will also act as an accessible hub of information to sign-post people to places where they can find further help.

The Breakin’ Out team will be looking to further develop the aftercare package in the future
as the vision for what “Breakin’ Out” can do evolves.”

If you want more information about the Festival, the Breakin’ Out community interest company or the beenthereB4 aftercare project, please contact us via info@breakinoutfestival.com.